There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
