i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
