i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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