Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
