You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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