It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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