McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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