I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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