NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
