She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
