Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
