I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
