i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
