On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
