I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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