I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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