never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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