I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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