Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
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oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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