fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
