I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
