Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize