The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
