I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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