I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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