This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
