I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
