I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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