Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
