I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
