overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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