If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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