Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
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I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
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Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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