Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
