I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
