So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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