Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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