wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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