Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
