Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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