fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
