jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
