Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
