i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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