hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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