there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize