remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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