a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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