We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
