That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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