pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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