you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
