therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
