she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
