If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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