I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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