So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
