It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
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when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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