I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
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