I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
