Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
