he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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