Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
wow bdsm is so cute
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