At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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