Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
