tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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