You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
