you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize