forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
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Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize