Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
