I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
